Friday, May 28, 2010

Call the factory! Brilliant!

Okay, this is maybe my favorite kid quote ever, and it just happened half an hour ago.

"Miss Dooley? M - O - N - D - A - Y should says 'Mawn-day.' It's s'posed to be M - U - N - D - A - Y, Munday. Call the factory and tell them they made a mistake!"

Thursday, May 20, 2010

Quotes speak for themselves.

Here are a few of the best student quotes that have stuck with me over my four years as a special education teacher:

~*~

"Will you tie my shoe up? It tied down."

~*~

"I wish I had me a pet monkey. The big kind. I wish I had me a pet ... a pet bamboo."

~*~

(Writing on the board) "I hate ... how do you spell Miss Dooley?"

~*~

STUDENT: "I likes dogs. Dogs is good. I likes dogs."
ME: "I like dogs, too, but I like cats best."
STUDENT: (rolling eyes) "Okay, Miss Dooley. You likes cats. I likes dogs eating cats."

~*~

(At the start of geography class) "Look, we can live without them maps, okay?"

~*~

(Upon my return from bus driver training -- the WRITTEN course, not the driving course) "Oh, Miss Dooley! You're back!" (Hugs me) "I was SO worried about you! I did NOT think you were going to make it!"

~*~

"Move moon that-way please!"

~*~

(As I was eating a carrot) "Miss Dooley? Why does old people like carrots?"

~*~

"My grandfather gots penguins on his pond. Or, not penguins. What are those white things?"

~*~

"I saw them squans on my grandfather's pond!"

~*~

ME: (pointing to a picture of a dog in a magazine) "Is that the kind of dog that bit you?"
STUDENT: (looking at me like I am very stupid) "Well, now, he was a hair bigger."

~*~

And, possibly my favorite kid quote ever:

STUDENT: "Is 'dang' a school word?"
ME: "No, honey, we should probably avoid using that word here."
STUDENT: (long, tired sigh) "I wish this was a school where we could say 'dang'!"

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

The Pledge of Allegiance

(as recited by one of my second-graders)

"I pedge allegiance to the flag
of the United Stakes of Amer'ca
And to the republic
of which it sands
one nation
ubber God
invisisible
with libbery
and justice
for all."