No-Bake Cookies, Sarah Style

Check fridge and cupboards for ingredients.

Go to market and buy missing ingredients.

Walk dogs (because any time you leave, however briefly, they feel they must be walked on your return, or they will pee on your floor)

Over medium heat, melt one stick - crap. There's only half a stick left.

Go back to market. Buy butter.

Walk dogs.

Over medium heat, melt one stick of butter, a pile of sugar that looks like it might be one and three quarters cups, five Bento-box-sized-forkfuls (forksful?) of cocoa, and a coffee mug of milk.

Remove from heat. Answer phone. Walk outside where you can hear better. Talk about work.

Go inside.

Walk dogs.

Return mixture to heat. Bring to a boil.

Boil for the length of "Ghost of the Knoxville Girl" by Doug and Telisha Williams.

Remove from heat.

Drop by Bento-box-sized-forkfuls (forksful?) onto clean-ish Tupperware lids.

Wait till the cookies set up.

Acknowledge that they aren't going to set up. Eat with a Bento-box-sized fork.

In a panic, curse and run back to the kitchen to turn off the burner.

Leave the dishes for morning.