Sunday, August 1, 2010

August, and with it, temptation

It's that time again. August has rolled around and teachers everywhere are getting back into their classrooms after the floor-polishing and wall-painting and building maintenance that takes place in July.

The posts are already starting to pop up on Facebook:

Got into my classroom today.

And

Starting on bulletin boards, ugh.

And

Anybody know of any good math centers? I'm setting up this week.

Three years in a row, I have quit teaching in June. Two of those years, it only lasted till August. When those "Got-into-my-classroom" posts started cropping up on Facebook, I started opening a new tab. Cruising the local district employment websites. Placing a bid just to see if I'd get it.

Always do.

I'm determined this year not to return to public schooling. Last year, I was off my game. Tired. Negative. I did my best by those kids, but my best wasn't as good last year as it was in school years past. I did not leave with a sense of having done well, of having made lasting changes. I left with the sense that we had, all of us, just barely kept our heads above water.

Bad metaphor, actually, given that the town flooded not two weeks after I left it.

I will teach this year, just not in a public school. I will work with children, but I will not have a classroom. This is both good and bad. It's good because I can focus on the needs of each individual child in the program that's offered me work come fall. It's also good because I won't be staying in public education long enough to completely lose my faith in it. But it's bad because ... because ...

Man, I really like having a classroom.

I'm happy with my choices. This is a good move, mental-health-wise. It's a good move, career-wise. It's a good move, interest-wise. So I'll stay strong as my Facebook friends dangle lesson plans and teacher's desks and literacy centers in front of me. I will pour my creative energy into writing instead of materials creation. I will block the district websites from my computer.

But if anybody needs a bulletin board created? I'm your girl.

5 comments:

H. Dooley said...

"I left with the sense that we had, all of us, just barely kept our heads above water."

You were ahead of us. :/

I do not share the temptation. I start back to work one month from today and the kids come back September 7th. I don't have any bulletin boards or a classroom, or a subject to teach. I need to contact the new principle. I'mma compose an email tonight and send it tomorrow.

My word verification word is: "cluor"

Paul Michael Murphy said...

Went to my classroom yesterday and much to my surprise the waxing and cleaning was complete so I moved around some bookcases.

Sarah Dooley said...

Why did you have to go and tell me that? Now I'm picturing the reflection of colorful bulletin board trim in clean linoleum.

Jill said...

Hang tight sister, I've got plenty of options coming down the pike. And if you really feel the need to do a buletin board I could see you doing something great with a train theme!

Caroline Starr Rose said...

2008-2009 was my last year teaching. It was wonderful but difficult to teach while mothering and writing.

I totally understand the temptation and miss those long-term relationships with kids. Maybe some part-time teaching is in my future. Maybe author visits will fill the void...