Friday, January 22, 2010

Five Things you Don't Want to Hear

Five things you don't want to hear in an elementary school classroom:

1. "Uh oh!" (This is usually preceded by a crash, a splash, or a scream from another child.)

2. "Miss Dooley, I think I gots fleas on my head!" (It turned out to be a shred of paper from a spiral notebook, and not what I thought he meant at first, thank goodness!)

3. "Miss Dooley, my tummy hurts --" (Because they never tell you until they are at the furthest point away from the trashcan.)

4. "My mommy says I can --"/"My mommy says I don't hafta --" (This is usually followed by a description of whatever it is you've just told the child she can't do/must do.)

5. Silence. (They're either sick, missing, or hatching a plan. Occasionally all three.)

Unfortunately, all five happened yesterday in my classroom -- numbers 1 and 3 more than once. Five was definitely the most frightening, as it resulted in a school-wide game of hide-and-seek. I'm hoping that one drops off the list entirely today, but I know I can expect to hear at least three or four of them. I love my kids, but I'm really glad it's Friday!


Heather Kelly said...

My son is an impulsive, sensory-seeking kindergartener. My first talk with his teacher went like this:

Me: Just when you least suspect it--just when you're comfortable-- just when you let your guard down-- that's when my son will go MIA.

Teacher: Okay. I'll keep a close eye on him.

Me: No, I mean it. You must keep him within arms reach at all times. And never, ever, tell him what he's supposed to do next, unless you are ready for him to do it that very second. The 'in ten minutes we're going to...' doesn't compute in his brain.

Teacher: Okay.

Me: *sigh* You know he's going to walk home by himself some day, right?

And, on a weekly basis, I get a call from the nurse. "Mrs. Kelly, this isn't an emergency, but..."

I have to give his teacher props--she has NOT ONCE lost my son (she has a much better track record than me). She's quite wonderful--and she has implemented a ton of sensory tools for the classroom that my son uses every day. She knows how hard it is for him to be in one place for too long. Yay for teachers!

Heather Kelly said...

And--I am so sorry for the hide and seek game--that must have stopped your heart for a moment. It's terrifying. As you can see by my first comment, I have lost my child a few times. Thankfully, nothing bad has happened. *knocking on wood*

Jonathon Arntson said...

And my mom constantly asks me why I never went into elementary ed...

I also remind her that I don't really like kids

"Well, you are writing books for children," she ALWAYS says.

Yes, Mom, I am writing for children...but I am not going to be with them eight hours a day, five days a week, except summers!

I do like some kids.

TerryLynnJohnson said...

This is hilarious! So enjoyed reading!

Laura Pauling said...

I love the things that kids say when their parents aren't around. If parents only knew...because usually the child has misconstrued it. :)

And I learned the hard way what "my tummy hurts' means. Now, I rush my kids to the bathroom. :)